How Well Do You Give Constructive Criticism? Practice the Positivity Sandwich.
Giving criticism is not easy. For folks like me, it’s scary to think that you may hurt someone’s feelings, ruin their day, or that they may retaliate back with anger or their own criticism. If this is something you worry about, try the positivity sandwich. It’s something that you may already have heard of or tried before, and you may have had practiced on you without realizing it. This method has worked for me countless times (and it works like a charm on me too). Start the conversation with something the person is doing well in. The middle of the sandwich is the critique. End with more reaffirming positive feedback.
Let’s practice. Here’s an example:
SCENARIO: Your new employee is eager to learn, arrives on time, friendly, and receptive to feedback. In her first month on the job, two non-binary staffers have complained that she has misgendered them on multiple occasions.
CRITICISM: Thanks for speaking with me. I want to let you know that you are doing a really great job so far. I know that onboarding can be stressful but I can already tell that you’re a good fit for this position. You’re a super quick learner! There is one thing that we do need to discuss. Have you ever worked with people that identify as non-binary before? These people on the team are very understanding that it’s new to lots of people, but it’s important that you begin to use their preferred pronouns in order for our team to continue to run smoothly. I’m going to ask you to practice at home so it becomes more second nature to you, and to do anything you can to prioritize this. I want to reiterate that you’re not in trouble or anything, it’s just something that is very important to me and the team. And I know you’re a quick learner and eager to do a good job here, so I know you’ll work hard on this. Do you have any questions for me?
OK now you try it:
SCENARIO 1: Recently, one of your employees agreed to a sponsorship without your approval, leading to confusion when you spoke to the client later on. You couldn’t make it to the meeting that day, and trusted him to act as your representative, but expressly stated to hold back on any decisions during the meeting. This employee has always shown tact and has an incredible knack for “reading the room.”
SCENARIO 2: A steadfast employee of five years took a two-week vacation without enough notice, leaving everyone else scrambling to cover their shifts while they were away.
SCENARIO 3: A core member of your small staff sent out an invitation for her birthday party, but didn’t invite everyone, including you! People (maybe including you) are feeling a little hurt by this.
These are some pretty tough scenarios, so if you can practice these, you’ll be much more prepared for the real ones. How did it feel to infuse positive feedback in with the criticism?
